Sydney is starting to get fussy on her play mat in the hall while I'm trying to get Seoul down for a nap... progressively getting louder. It's part of the routine for me to rock Seoul and sing her some songs. I kept trying to ask her what song she wanted and I couldn't hear because Sydney was so loud. I was getting a bit frustrated. So this is our conversation:
Me: I'm going to put you in bed after singing just one song.
Seoul: (getting upset) No! Another song!
Me: I need to take care of Sydney because she is crying so loud you won't hear me and won't be able to sleep.
Seoul: (now crying) Another song! Rock me! Please!
Me: Don't you hear Sydney crying? Do you like to hear her cry?
Seoul: Yes.
Me: Why??
Seoul: Because you are rocking me and singing to me and holding me.
Did that break my heart? Yep. I try and divide my attention but my poor (baby) Seoul gets the short end of the stick because it does seem like Sydney gets first dibs for my attention - eating, sleeping, diaper changes, etc. I held her a bit longer but of course Sydney won because the crying was getting to me (she does not have a quiet, cute newborn cry... this is an ear-piercing-someone-is-killing-me-slowly scream while her face turns red like her head is going to explode).
So, today I win the worst mom of the year award. I do love my girls, though.... and hopefully one day Seoul will forgive me for the lack of attention to her sometimes.
2 comments:
Oh Joo...you are not the worst mom...just a normal mom. You are awesome. It is just part of having two kids. I wept about it at first and then I realized that Jack had 2 years of my undivided attention, something that Sophs will never get to enjoy. That made my heart hurt less. The blessing pictures are adorable and Seoul picking her nose is priceless. I love tulips! Can't wait for mine to bloom!
I feel your pain! But you're not the worst mommy ever! It's just growing pains. It will pass. And soon they'll be playing together and entertaining each other. Thanks for sharing this story. Everyone is always talking about how their kids love each other & my spudino is still pretty much ignoring tater tot. So it's nice to see that it's normal!
Post a Comment